Grieving Dad Running for Suicide Prevention

There is no pain that compares to that of losing a child, and no effective analogy for the long stretch of recovery from such a loss for a grieving parent left behind. Conrad Roy, Jr. knows that pain, and he knows that long road of recovery must be travelled, whether you walk it or run it. You put one foot in front of the other and you go with the hope that you’ll get there one day, wherever “there” is – maybe it’s a place of peace, or the reaching of a finish line of a goal to transcend grief and turn it into hope for the world, or for yourself.

Roy lost his son Conrad Roy III on July 13, 2014 when Conrad took his own life, and ever since then Roy has been walking that road that stretches ahead of him, until he decided one day that it was time to run.

Roy says he turned to physical fitness as a way of dealing with the tragic loss, finding it an escape of sorts, which put him on the trajectory of a new path towards physical health. He started losing weight as a result and eventually found he could run, something he hadn’t really done much of in the past.

Still, said Roy, “I became bitter.”

“When I decided to run the New Bedford Half-Marathon, my goal was to come in under two hours,” Roy said. He did – one hour and 58 minutes, in fact – not too shabby for a first-timer and considering the circumstances.

“It was tough,” Roy said, probably the most difficult physical endeavor of his life, he added. “Why am I doing this?” he asked himself. “I just kept on running.”

Months later in November, Roy said, his sister sent him an email from the American Fund for Suicide Prevention, which was looking for runners to join them in their Boston Marathon fundraising campaign. Roy read it and laughed, figuring his sister was joking in a way, but after second thought, Roy said, “I’ll take it on. I’ll do it.”

He applied for a bib and was accepted, and since then Roy has been training for the April 16 run of his life, a run that honors not only his son Conrad and the road that Roy has travelled since Conrad left him, but also those who might be stopped from taking their own lives so that their family and friends do not have to suffer the devastation as a result of it.

As Roy wondered what Conrad might think about his Dad’s go at the Boston Marathon, emotion permeated his words as he remembered the young man who undoubtedly would have approved.

“He was very impressed,” as Roy put it. “He really enjoyed sports, and he enjoyed any kind of competition. I think he would be … just really excited.

“I wish he was here to see it, but I think he’s gonna be here watching me.”

Roy’s goal was to raise $25,000 for the American Fund for Suicide Prevention, and he was shy of reaching his goal until his run received attention from local TV broadcast media, which brought his total up to $21,465 as of Tuesday evening. Now, to help him close in on his goal, Roy’s cousin’s children are performing a benefit concert this Sunday, April 8, at Wonder Bowl in New Bedford. The band “Morrisey Blvd” will perform from 3:00 to 5:00 pm at the 66 Hathaway Road, New Bedford, bowling alley, with a suggested $10 donation per person at the door. Of course, higher donation amounts are welcome so Roy can reach his $25,000 goal. There will also be a raffle at the event.

Roy knows the marathon is going to be tough; it’s going to hurt. He’s going to want to give in at some point, but what Roy knows is that all of it will be nothing compared to what those who’ve been left behind feel after the suicide of a person they love.

“I just don’t want anyone else to take their own life,” said Roy. “I don’t want anyone to feel the pain that I’ve had to go through.”

For Roy, he says even if his contribution reaches just one person and helps influence them to choose to live and not take their own life, the effort would be worth it.

“The pain … it’s almost unbearable,” said Roy. “It’s not the answer. You can always make it to the next day, get through it.”

If you would like to donate, Roy has a crowdrise.com page which can be accessed easiest by typing “crowdrise.com Conrad Roy” into your web browser and following the link.

By Jean Perry

 

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