Too Many Choices

            There are too many choices. Have you ventured down the soft drink aisle at the grocers lately? There must be a thousand different sugary drinks. Once you decide what flavor you want, you then must decide on small cans, big cans, glass bottles or plastic, quarts or liters, six packs or eight packs.

            Restaurant menus are too big too. By the time I read all the choices, I’m not hungry anymore. This free-choice business is getting out of hand and isn’t limited to just food either.

            When I was a kid we had a couch, not a sofa, just a couch. And it’s a good bet it was a hand-me-down, but it was in good condition because whoever had it before us kept it covered in clear plastic.

            Now if you go into some furniture stores, you will be faced with a plethora of choices. In addition to different colors of couches, er sofas … you must consider a number of styles. In fact, according to (there is a .com for everything, isn’t there?), there are about 21 different types of sofas. There are divans, loveseats, sectionals, Chesterfield, tuxedo, cabriole, settees, recliners (some with cup holders and wi-fi), camelback, barrel back, convertible and sleep sofas and so on. Too many choices.

            Sleep sofas are misnamed. A sofa bed is a better name because no one has ever been able to sleep on one comfortably. The fold-out mattresses are thin and the springs are hard. Not as hard as the bed I slept in during college. I slept on a door. Not one of those flush doors either, no sir, it was one with raised panels. I confess it did have a two-inch foam pad on it, but it was painful when I rolled over onto the knob. Just kidding, there was no knob.

            Speaking of beds, there are queen, king, twin beds, Murphy beds, waterbeds, hybrid, featherbeds, bunk beds, air mattresses, futon, cots … whew! There are also trundle beds, daybeds, adjustable beds and, of course, hospital beds. According to (another .com expert), there are 73 different types of beds.

            If you think there are a lot of beds, check out chairs. There are wingback, club and occasional chairs, recliners, swivel, armchairs, ladderback, deck, lounge and Adirondack chairs, plus my favorite, rocking chairs.

            I recall my parents had married friends who came to visit every Tuesday evening precisely at 7:00 pm. Mom and Lydia would sit on the couch. Dad would be in his armchair, and George would grab the rocking chair next to the fireplace. He nursed a beer until 8:00 pm, then they would abruptly leave. The chair would still be rocking as they drove off.

            There are more dining chairs than you can imagine … bentwood, bistro, cross back, Windsor, Parsons, provincial, upholstered, metal … enough already, you get the drift. Too many choices.

            Furniture doesn’t have a corner on having too many choices. Shoes are right up there. There are loafers, penny loafers, oxfords, boots, brogues, flats, sandals, flip-flops, moccasins, clogs, boat shoes, slippers and of course sneakers. You have a choice of tie shoes, or Velcro flaps. I once had a pair of “Snap Jacks” inspired by Elvis Presley. They had a metal tongue on a hinge that made a loud snap when you closed it. I think they were Thom McCann shoes and were sold by a couple who had a shoe store in their attic on Tobey Lane.

            Well enough of that. I’m exhausted. I think I need a wheelchair to carry me down the hall so I can climb into my memory foam bed and take a nap. Too many choices.

            Editor’s note: Mattapoisett resident Dick Morgado is an artist and retired newspaper columnist whose musings are, after some years, back in The Wanderer under the subtitle “Thoughts on ….” Morgado’s opinions have also appeared for many years in daily newspapers around Boston.

Thoughts on…

By Dick Morgado

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