As the year draws to a close and we celebrate seasonal holidays, memories of Christmases past are unpacked, thought about and shared.
My family didn’t travel to visit family or friends. Everyone we knew lived in a tight radius around our little Onset Village. And we weren’t the visiting type as a family. Ma’s siblings had large, busy families to attend to, and Dad’s clan consisted of one brother living in California and an elderly cousin on the Cape. So holiday celebrations were centered around us – a tree decorated with Grandmother’s ornaments, a few gifts under the tree primarily featuring socks and new pajamas and a traditional Christmas Day meal.
We’d hang our stockings (Dad’s repurposed argyles) as receptacles for out-of-season rare fruits, chocolate-covered marshmallow Santas and Lifesavers. It was always grand in our eyes, comfortable, familiar and still remembered.
Ma was a good cook, able to turn out a table filled with a perfectly roasted turkey, lump-free mashed potatoes, a bunch of vegetables and the smoothest, richest-tasting gravy known to mankind.
Ma was not, however, a baker. She stayed on good terms with the Cushman Baker who never failed to deliver the pies we all longed for. Opening his van door and stepping inside was just like stepping into a bakery shop. The scrumptious smells of pies baked during the middle of the night filled the airspace, air thick enough to cut with a knife and yummy enough to taste long before the first real bite. Yes, our holiday celebrations were a hit with us – a memory fondly cherished these seven decades later.
I like to think about those simpler times because they were simple and filled with parental love. I was just a kid wearing new PJ’s after a warm bubble bath on Christmas night. For their unselfish giving, I am eternally grateful. I like to believe they would be happy to know I remember them this way.
Another tradition for me is reaching out to others in the tri-towns and asking them if they would be willing to share their Christmas memories for inclusion in my year-end This Mattapoisett Life column. I’m pleased to say that these verbal gifts we may now unwrap together.
Woody Hartley, well known as a Select Board member in the Town of Rochester, shared what Christmases were like for his large, extended family when he was a lad.
“We went to Great Grandma Hartley’s house along with many cousins, aunts and uncles. We’d have breakfast and open gifts before moving on to Aunt Sickie and Aunt Snookie’s houses.” It was a full day of visiting with family, going house to house, being welcomed in and singing carols while Althea Fearing played the piano. “We’d gather round looking through family photographs and listen to the grownups tell stories … it seemed endless and exhausting,” Hartley said with a chuckle. A modern-day version of the visiting tradition continues today, but instead of turkey and stuffing leftovers, “…we have Chinese food,” Hartley said with a smile in his voice.
While most folks shared pleasant memories, Fran Dubois of Rochester remembers a Christmas Eve that was a bit disappointing. “My parents said I had to stay overnight with my grandparents. I didn’t want to. How would Santa find me if I wasn’t at home?” The next morning after sleeping over as instructed her disappointment increased. “My Christmas stocking had an orange and a 50-cent piece!” Alas, no candy. Surely there were goodies she enjoyed as well, but with a snicker this memory was what she remembered, now with fondness.
Connie Esbach, also from Rochester, shared the following remembrance: “We’d have our stockings on Christmas morning, then head out to church. … When we got back home, we’d line up by height with the smallest at the front of the line, then we’d each take a turn to go into the living room and see the Christmas tree. Mother started out in the back, but as the years went by she ended up at the front of the line!”
Jodi Bauer, Mattapoisett Select Board member, tells of visiting with her large extended family. “We’d go to my great grandparents’ house on North Street.” The house would quickly fill up with cousins and aunts and uncles, she said, so much so that they outgrew that large family homestead. In future years, the clan would up sticks to her grandfather’s house also on North Street, but Bauer said, as the family continued to grow large, singular gatherings became multiple smaller gatherings. Yet with a lighthearted look back, Bauer added, “It was cool and Santa always arrived.”
Joy Berto of Marion told of Santa’s sleigh bells. “We’d wait to hear those sleigh bells ringing outside and we’d be so excited,” Berto began. “Then one Christmas there was a bright full moon, and we could see our farmhand running up and down around the house shaking the sleigh bells … that was the end of Santa,” she said laughingly.
Author and historian Judith Rosbe, a Marion resident, recalled visiting with her Swedish grandparents in Duluth, Minnesota, where her father had grown up. “My grandparents were Swedish immigrants. They celebrated Christmas as they always had with gifts on Christmas Eve and a meal they called a smorgasbord.”
She chuckled as she shared that by today’s standards a Swedish Christmas Tree fully decorated with real candles wouldn’t pass the fire codes. “On Christmas Day we’d go to church with my grandparents where we’d sing Christmas songs in Swedish.” Rosbe also gave a mini-introduction in Swedish language, “Godjul Yule means Merry Christmas.”
Christmas time brings much more than joyful memories of family gatherings. I reached out to Tri-Town Veterans Agent Chris Gerrior who shared the following thoughts with us.
“During this time of year, I often find myself thinking about the times I was deployed during the holiday season. I then think of all the servicemen and women who are currently deployed on ships and bases all over the world. It’s not all bad, there are Thanksgiving turkeys and Christmas dinners served in mess halls and galleys all over the world. There are often care packages with cards and cookies that are shared around. The service members you are deployed with become your family during deployment.
“But it’s not just the service members that have to adapt to being away from home during the holidays. Their families also have to adapt to not having their loved one at home with them. It’s not just their presence around the dinner table that is missed during the holidays, they are also not home to help with wrapping presents or dinner preparation or setting up a Christmas tree.”
Gerrior said that computers and video links allow daily contact now, “but a video call doesn’t replace someone sitting on the floor helping a young child assemble their new LEGO set.” Gerrior asked that we take a moment “to think about those who are currently deployed serving in our military and be thankful for the sacrifices they and their families make every day.”
This Mattapoisett Life
By Marilou Newell