I have always been fascinated with people who find solutions where there are no problems and I feel obliged to keep you, loyal reader, up to date on important issues, especially in areas of personal hygiene.

            You may have read that Charmin, a major manufacturer of toilet tissue, claims to have come up with a revolutionary improvement to their tissue rolls. After five years of exhaustive study and millions of dollars of expense retooling their machinery, they have decided to do away with the traditional square sheet. New improved wavy perforations now replace the traditional straight line of holes. They say this will “provide a better, smoother tear.”

            Well darn, thank you Charmin, because this is something I have been losing sleep over for some time and apparently so have enough frustrated users to warrant this important innovation. I confess I have not had any problem with ragged tears, but I am glad they continue to be on the cutting edge of toilet-paper technology. What’s next, “Glow in the Dark” toilet paper? Well yes, someone tried that, but it lasted less time than it took to flip a light switch.

            Proper hygiene is important, but you may be surprised to hear that Levi, the maker of blue jeans, has declared that their jeans only need to be washed every 10 wearings. Apparently, washing jeans once a week is the equivalent of 6,700 glasses of water, a serious consideration in reducing our carbon footprint. Who would have thought? I didn’t know washing jeans frequently was a problem, but Charles Bergh, CEO of Levi, has a solution … wash your jeans while taking a shower. There ya’ go!

            Another solution without a problem was the infamous “New Coke,” Coca Cola’s attempt to expand its market. When introduced, U.S. Senator David Prior called it “a meaningful moment in U.S. history.” It was a dismal failure because no one asked for it and no one cared. In an effort to keep up in the soft-drink marketplace, Mars, Inc. introduced “Life Savers” soda, but consumers labeled it liquid candy. No candy for you!

            Heinz, the catsup – or is it ketchup – people, produced “Squirt” blue-and green-colored condiments in a squeeze bottle, presumably for kids. The kids balked at the sight of it, and it was off the market in an instant. Other food companies that tried to create solutions for imaginary products where there was no clamoring for them include: Cheetos brand “Flamin’ Hot Lip Balm,” which not only burned lips but turned them orange; “Thirsty Dog” and “Thirsty Cat” beef-and fish-flavored water for pets; and Pizza Hut’s fold-over, calzone-like pizzas called “P-Zones.” Enough said about that name.

            Then in 1982, “Colgate Lasagna” was introduced, which was not only not appetizing but caused their toothpaste sales to plummet.

            Outside the realm of food, Bic, the pen makers, tried their hand at marketing perfume, and when that didn’t work, Bic ballpoints for women with a curvy shape in a variety of pastel colors were introduced. I’ll bet they were all men who dreamed up those products.

            Sometimes companies are ahead of their time. In 1999, Barbie personal computers were introduced. These were not toys, especially at the cost of $699. With the recent popularity of the Barbie movie – even the Red Sox had a Barbie Day at Fenway Park in September – they might have been a success. They were not.

            My favorite solution without a problem that failed was when Esso Oil spent millions of dollars researching, designing, redesigning and test-marketing a new brand identity, making sure the new name wouldn’t offend anyone around the world. As soon as the new name Exxon was released, wags started saying Exxon double-crossed their customers. They stuck it out, but they really should have saved their money; there was no problem with the old name.

            I think Charmin will have a big success with their innovative toilet-paper roll because their blue spokes-bear family is just so adorable. Don’t you agree?

Editor’s note: Mattapoisett resident Dick Morgado is an artist and retired newspaper columnist whose musings are, after some years, back in The Wanderer under the subtitle “Thoughts on ….” Morgado’s opinions have also appeared for many years in daily newspapers around Boston.

Thoughts on…

By Dick Morgado

            After revealing that the towns of Rochester and Mattapoisett might already be working on a resolution, Rochester’s Select Board acted on Monday to table discussion of the Rochester Planning Board’s recent letter requesting the town take further action against the 241-acre regional Conservation Restriction plan that gives Rochester no rights to the water at Red Brick Farm East within that CR.

            As Select Board Chairman Paul Ciaburri motioned to table the issue, he noted the aspect of the new Tri-Town-area Conservation Restriction that the Planning panel references “is still in discussion … We’re having discussions,” he said.

            Ciaburri would not elaborate, but Select Board member Adam Murphy said a joint meeting between the select boards of Rochester and Mattapoisett should be set for a date not too far in the future. Town Administrator Glenn Cannon agreed to work on scheduling that joint get-together.

            The regional Conservation Restriction agreement that the Rochester Conservation Commission recently signed gives Mattapoisett the water rights to the Rochester parcel, including possibly digging up to four new wells, under a co-ownership agreement with the Mattapoisett Water and Sewer Authority. But it makes no guarantee that Rochester would have any rights to the groundwater there, which sparked the town’s Conservation Commission to prod the authority to agree in writing that it would “make every effort” to transfer the conservation land in Rochester to the town.

            Town Counsel recently told the Conservation Commission that this promise of making “every effort” is not a legally enforceable one. Both the Conservation Commission and the Planning Board have written correspondence to the Select Board to ask the members to intercede.

            In other action, the Select Board appointed a new full-time police officer on the recommendation of Police Chief Robert Small. He’s Andrew Bumpus, a Carver resident and current campus police officer at a Massachusetts police academy. Bumpus was immediately sworn in by Town Clerk Marjorie Barrows after the board met him and his family.

            Next, the Select Board met with the Personnel Board and the town’s Labor Counsel, Jan Friedman, and revealed the progress on developing a new Personnel bylaw for town employees. The biggest reveal from the discussion was that the new Personnel panel is considering creating a policy manual that will place certain rules and requirements there instead of into what would otherwise be a larger bylaw. Both the Select Board and Labor Counsel agreed this separation should happen.

            Personnel Board Chairperson Kristine Nash said, “It would make the bylaw a hundred pages” to keep the rules and requirements that might be a better fit in an employee policy manual. “But our stand on bylaw versus policy manual has not been voted on,” she said. “We’ve held off our vote.”

            Friedman said Rochester’s current Personnel bylaws are unusual. For instance, she said, the Personnel Board is the hiring authority, but the town’s Select Board should be the hiring authority. Personnel would be the board to set policy, compensation rates and hear grievances. All parties in the discussion agreed these changes should happen.

            Nash said the Personnel Board is working on a draft bylaw to include more specific job descriptions and pay classifications. Friedman suggested a consultant be hired to create the policy manual and that Cannon should work on cost estimates to hire one.

            Nash said the Personnel Board will be working first on the compensation plan for the 17 employees under the new Personnel bylaw and requested counsel review the draft bylaw when it is ready.

            The Rochester Select Board set its next meeting for Monday, November 20, at 6:00 pm at Town Hall, 1 Constitution Way.

Rochester Select Board

By Michael J. DeCicco

            Toby Burr and Norm Hills both stepped away from the head table at different moments to recuse themselves from the actions of the Marion Select Board on Tuesday night at the Police Station.

            Burr, the chairman, abstained from the board’s discussion and vote to grant requests for town plowing of three private roads: Luce Avenue, Barnabus Road and Highland Road. All abutters have been notified. Luce Avenue had some potholes, but new owners of the properties are taking care of that, according to Town Administrator Geoff Gorman.

            “Whatever gets developed out there is a different discussion at a different time,” said Hills, who recused himself from the board’s decision to accept his donation of $2,427.48 for dog-bag dispensers.

            Select Board member Randy Parker called Hills’ donation “a great addition to a problem we have.”

            At the recent Special Town Meeting, the board rescinded support of and ultimately tabled a warrant article that would have asked voters to approve a regulation requiring dog walkers to carry bags when in public. The money donated by Hills will also be used for signage and support posts. The board publicly thanked Hills for his generosity.

            In other action items, the Select Board approved the change of manager at the Kittansett Club from Steve Mann to Scott Smith, who was present to note a change of officers as well. Smith said two more people were elected at the club’s annual meeting but require Criminal Offender Record Information (CORI) checks.

            Elizabeth Dowd was appointed to an open seat on the Marion Scholarship Fund Committee. The 11-year schoolteacher was thanked for her volunteerism.

            The board ratified the contract with the Marion Police Brotherhood, noting that the agreement had been completed, reviewed and approved in executive session. It includes a 2% cost-of-living increase.

            The board voted to approve the Holmes Woods Stewardship Plan, a grant award from the state Department of Conservation & Recreation. The funding will support an expert bird-habitat assessment for the 14.73-acre, town-owned property that runs between Route 6 and Spring Street from the Police Station to Sippican Elementary School grounds.

            The program will include a public-information session held in the wooded area and will identify trees, trails, “what’s good and what’s bad.” The Marion Stewards of Open Space took the lead, now the town is leading the way according to Gorman, who will present to the Select Board when the plan is in place.

            Upon receiving new information, a request for a sewer abatement at 5 Moorings Road was tabled to the board’s next meeting.

            Dan Crete and Andrew Daniel were reappointed to the Department of Public Works Building Committee in what Gorman described as an administrative formality. Parker called them, “a great addition to the team” and said both added “a lot of great input.”

            Having gone through the required training, Gorman was approved for a Municipal Hearing Officer Designation that he said will only apply to fire-code violations. Gorman said that Fire Chief Brian Jackvony told him that historically, the town administrator fills that role. Parker is the other designee, but Gorman’s appointment is specifically for fire-code matters.

            A request for a $729.83 Water/Sewer abatement at 317 Converse Road was, upon the recommendation of the DPW, granted in the amount of $624.24.

            The board approved Water/Sewer commitments of $1,990.89 (final readings October 13), $2,062 (new water tap and meter October 17), $10,420 (new water and sewer service Taunton Avenue October 18), and $155 (sewer reconnection 43 Dexter Road October 19.)

            In his Town Administrator’s Report, Gorman focused on the next several weeks of public events, beginning with the Old Rochester Regional High School Unified Basketball team in its fundraising game against the Tri-Town Police scheduled for Tuesday, November 21, at 6:30 pm at the ORR gym. There will be a 50/50 raffle and T-shirts for sale. The suggested donation at the door is $5 to $10. (The Marion Select meets for its annual tax-classification public hearing at 6:00 pm but intends to keep the meeting short and support the event.)

            The Town House will close at 12:00 pm on Wednesday, November 22, and also close at 12:00 pm on two Fridays, December 22 and 29.

            The Marion Police Brotherhood is sponsoring some holiday-season events, including a dinner for Marion residents only to be held on December 2 at 12:00 pm at Cushing Community Center, the Annual Pizza with Santa from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm on December 3, also at the Community Center. To RSVP by November 24, call the Council on Aging at 508-748-3570.

            Marion Police Annual “Fill a Cruiser” event will be at the Pizza with Santa event, and people can also make donations at the Police Station. Donations will be accepted through December 7.

            The Select Board will meet at 5:00 pm on December 5, followed at 6:00 pm by the town employees’ Holiday Party at Cushing Community Center. Gorman said invitations will be sent out this week with more information.

            Gorman hand delivered the Harbormaster building winning-bid award to Marion-based South Coast Improvement and said the local company is building a preconstruction team. He anticipates the contract to be signed next week, “and then we can start in earnest.”

            The COA is holding an event on November 13 at 5:00 pm to support residents dealing with loved ones suffering from dementia. The session is designed to gain community feedback, identify shortcomings and gaps in service and provide a light meal for attendees. Burr said people who cannot attend can still call the COA with information and suggestions.

            Marion will hold its Veterans Day event on Saturday, November 11, at 11:00 am at Old Landing located on Front Street. Guest speakers will be Peter O’Brien, Marine Corps Master Gunnery Sergeant, Operations Chief, and Sean Stadig, Lieutenant Commander, H60 Engineering Officer, Air Station Cape Cod. The Sippican Elementary School Band led by Mrs. Hannah Moore will perform selections of patriotic music.

            The RSVP for the Veterans Luncheon at the Cushing Community Center has passed, but those interested can call 508-748-3570 to check on availability.

            Finally, Gorman congratulated Marion-based firefighters Dalton Lyons, Christopher Peckham and Jacob Ouellette, who were part of a graduating class from the Call/Volunteer Recruit Firefighter Training Program.

            The next meeting of the Marion Select Board is scheduled for Tuesday, November 21, at 6:00 pm at the Police Station.

Marion Select Board

By Mick Colageo

            John and Pamela Lees will finally build their house at 49 Water Street after the Marion Conservation Commission voted to grant an Amended Order of Conditions (SE 041-1372) for proposed project modifications resulting in a reduction in the scope of work.

            Appearing before the commission on November 1, project representative Dave Davignon of Schneider, Davignon & Leone, Inc. summarized the history of the case, saying the Order of Conditions was approved on August 2, 2022, then appealed by abutters to the state Department of Environmental Protection, which stayed the appeal after all the participants agreed on a revised size of the house.

            The house, previously planned at 190 feet long, will now be constructed at 145 feet long, a reduction of 23.5% in length, nearly doubling the side setbacks to 59 and 51 feet from property lines to the north and south. With an increase in size front to back to accommodate the floor layout, the footprint of the house has been reduced a net 13.5%.

            The in-ground pool has been reduced by 6.25%, and the previous driveway has been reduced by 11.6%.

            Under the old plan, 0.7 acres of runoff were headed toward the harbor and 0.21 acres were headed toward the street. Under the revised plan, there is a 46% reduction in runoff headed toward the water. There are no changes to what was permitted regarding the seawall.

            Conservation Agent Doug Guey-Lee asked Davignon to comment on the temporary disturbance of laying down plywood to work on the masonry of the seawall.

            Commission Chairman Jeff Doubrava said the Order of Conditions will expire on August 2, 2025, per the original order as approved by the commission.

            Under Action Items, engineer Rick Charon appeared on behalf of Laurence Reinhart (East Avenue Trust) who requested a Certificate of Compliance at 17 East Avenue.

            Doubrava reiterated his comment from the commission’s last meeting in which he said, since he has served, the ConCom has not permitted vertical structures in the velocity zone.

            Charon proposed smoothing the side of the retaining wall causing the problem and sloping it in keeping with the commission’s requirement.

            The other deviations from the proposed plan itemized by Charon were not problematic for the commission, but he asked for the commission to put a hold on the matter while he discusses the recommended solution with the applicant.

            Walsh said the other retaining wall also needs to be altered to conform to the town’s requirements. He said that had Reinhart come before the current set of commissioners with the plan as built, it would not have been permitted.

            Commissioner Matt Schultz said raising the soil would be preferable to a structural alternation.

            Conservation Agent Doug Guey-Lee confirmed with Charon on the record that the request for a Certificate of Compliance be withdrawn and a Request for Determination of Applicability be subsequently filed with the recommended changes to the retaining walls on the property.

            In other public hearings, Elizabeth Luther was issued an Order of Conditions to reconstruct an existing stone groin within the existing, licensed footprint at 28 West Avenue.

            Commissioner Matt Schultz’s motion addressed land containing shellfish, fisheries and storm-damage prevention, and Shaun Walsh requested that 310CMR 10.274B be added to ensure sand is added so as to avoid starving the vulnerable side of the reconstructed groin.

            A busy man on November 1 with several projects to represent, Davignon explained that the stone groin is slumping and its 30-year license is due to expire. The proposal is to work back from the end of the jetty, deconstruct and rebuild the groin in its original form.

            With a coastal beach and coastal bank, Davignon said a rip-rap seawall is in pretty good shape and noted that the Division of Marine Fisheries had no comment. The work will be done in the spring. Davignon anticipates the project taking no more than two weeks to complete.

            Citing the probability that the groin will be reconstructed tighter than originally done, Walsh asked Davignon if he plans to bring in some additional sand to be up to the required performance of coastal beach. Walsh recalled a case (not in Marion) that adversely affected the downdrift side of the groin and resulted in a lawsuit against the property owner who rebuilt his groin. He suggested the applicant fill the area with sand.

            The West Drive Association was issued a Negative Box 2 and 3 Determination of Applicability, allowing its members to install a 3,300-foot, private sewer pipe to connect 10 existing, single-family dwellings to the municipal sewer system on West Drive and North Drive. The decision was conditioned with erosion-control measures.

            The project will feature trenching for installation of the sewer pipe and installation of sewer manholes along the way. Some of the land is subject to coastal-storm flowage, according to Davignon, the project representative who explained that wetland flags planted by LEC Environmental helped create the wetland line to determine the buffer zone.

            Dr. John Howard and Katherine Howard were voted a Negative Box 1 Determination of Applicability to achieve the finding that the stream located across the street is intermittent and their proposed addition is therefore not within jurisdiction. The stream connects a couple of cranberry bogs.

            Davignon, the Howards’ representative, said that while it was once considered a perennial stream, “it’s not anymore.” Having visited the site, Chairman Jeff Doubrava said that if it was a perennial stream, it was a long time ago.

            In other action items, the commission granted Dale and Laura Briggs a two-year extension permit at 23 Dexter Road.

            The commission discussed a request from the Planning Board for comment on the application of Sandra Peterson at 35 Dexter Road. The ConCom issued an Order of Conditions already.

            The commission discussed a request from the Zoning Board of Appeals for comment on the application of Eric Winer and Nancy Borstelmann at 18 West Avenue. ConCom: the entire site is jurisdictional and will be before the commission this month.

            Finally, Harbormaster Adam Murphy was asked to comment on complaints received by the town about an unpermitted float system at Saltworks, 288 Wareham Road. Guey-Lee said the only permit on record was from 2020 for construction of a boat-storage shelter.

            Murphy said he reached out to the owner, Dan Crete, regarding complaints that he was hauling large vessels across the shellfish beds. Murphy reported that Crete told him the boat ramp at the site had been long permitted. Crete reportedly said the float would come out.

            Commissioner Emil Assing suggested a site visit to determine what impacts may have been made, triggering an enforcement action. Murphy suggested it’s the commission’s mission to educate Crete as to the process for compliance without creating a bigger problem. Doubrava suggested Guey-Lee inspect the site and report back to the commission and check for a ramp license.

            The next meeting of the Marion Conservation Commission was scheduled for Wednesday, November 15, at 7:00 pm.

Marion Conservation Commission

By Mick Colageo