Healthy Relationships

Speeches and videos called attention to the themes of healthy and unhealthy relationships last week at Tabor Academy. Although awareness is beginning throughout the community, the issues associated with unhealthy relationships have been on Lauren Millette’s mind for a while.

Millette – a dormparent, teacher, and freshman class dean – began highlighting the issues associated with unhealthy relationships last year.

“It’s been on my mind for a really long time,” says Millette, but she thought about it even more after attending a gender project conference over the summer.

Millette believes that in a healthy relationship, “You should feel supported, as though you can be yourself, and there should be trust and mutual respect.” Most importantly, “A relationship should only enhance how you feel on your own, not complicate it…. The most important relationship you can have is with yourself.”

Last week, Malcolm Astley came to speak to the Tabor community about the issue. Astley, who lost his teenage daughter, Lauren, to breakup violence in 2011, has started a memorial fund that seeks to promote efforts to stop such violence. The speech was relevant in that their family is from Wayland, MA and some Tabor students experienced the tragic incident first hand or had heard about it a few years ago.

The speech was very emotional for students and faculty alike. Peer counselors, who are helping Millette promote awareness, were available throughout the day after the speech to listen to others who had strong emotional reactions of grief and sadness.

Dr. Mehegan, a school counselor, also gave a speech this month regarding what an unhealthy relationship is. Millette saw his speech as a perfect opportunity to start a project that she had been working on to start conversation before Astley’s speech.

Millette created a “Healthy Relationships” video that highlights some positive examples of relationships within the Tabor community. The pairs, which included a number of relationships featured siblings, friends, parents and children, husbands and wives, and many others. The video features the pairs together with whiteboards that state what each appreciates about the other.

Millette enjoyed the process of creating the video, saying, “There were so many positives.” She was happy that the community can “celebrate what we appreciate in each other,” and the project provided the perfect medium to do so.

Some of the pairs that volunteered for the videos found the process emotional as they reflected on what they appreciated in their partner.

The video was shown at the weekly all-school meeting a few days before Astley’s talk and received a positive reaction from the community.

Going forward, Millette plans to keep up the momentum of this awareness. Students have approached her with their own ideas, which are in the process of being implemented. Furthermore, students can sign a banner showing their support that reads, “Courage to Care, Courage to Stand Up,” which is a concept that Astley highlighted throughout his presentation.

Astley also believes that self-defense is an important skill for everyone to have, so Christopher McEnroe, an English teacher, will be teaching a class that is open to the community next month.

Students have taken it upon themselves to watch the documentary “48 Hours” about Lauren Dunne Astley, which has caused some to take action and plan more awareness events.

According to Millette, a future goal is the continuation of healthy discussions about relationships – whether they are friendships, teammates, romantic partners, or of any kind – in order to continue providing support to each other.

Millette’s video can be viewed on YouTube by searching for the title “Healthy Relationships SD 480p 3.”

By Julia O’Rourke

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Wellspring Farm to Remove Fallen Trees

James and Holly Vogel of 42 Hiller Road came before the Rochester Conservation Commission on February 3 to discuss the need to remove storm damaged trees and fallen logs on property that provides mental and physical health services to children of all ages.

Wellspring Farm Learning Center provides what James Vogel called “experiential therapy” in a natural farm setting for persons with a variety of health challenges. Vogel said that the trees in question are having a negative impact on the manner in which the property may currently be used for various therapies, such as hiking through the woods, which can be especially difficult for persons with mobility issues.

Vogel said that removing the trees is a safety concern and that only damaged and fallen trees would be removed. He required a Request for Determination of Applicability from the commission, as some of the trees in question are within the 100-foot buffer zone and 25-foot no touch zone.

“I know they are very environmentally sensitive and will only take those trees that need to be taken,” said Conservation Agent Laurell Farinon. The commission rendered a negative determination, allowing the work to proceed without the requirement of filing a Notice of Intent.

Also of significance during the meeting was a letter that Farinon said the Town received from FEMA advising them of its final determination on revised Flood Insurance Rate Maps.

The only additional flood area FEMA identified was a small parcel near the Freetown line situated next to the New Bedford water treatment plant.

Farinon said the Town needed to adopt the maps to avoid residents losing their flood insurance or the Town losing out on FEMA funding in the future. She will continue to work with the town administrator and town counsel to draft an article for Town Meeting.

Farinon also reminded the commission members that they need to complete conflict-of-interest law training, an online program, before the March 6 deadline.

The next meeting of the Rochester Conservation Commission is scheduled for February 17 at 7:00 pm in the Rochester Town Hall meeting room.

By Marilou Newell

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FORM Wine Tasting Fundraiser

Say goodbye to the winter blahs with wine tasting, hors d’oeuvres, a cash bar, and plenty of good conversation. Join the Friends of Old Rochester Music (FORM) at their springtime fundraiser on Sunday, March 22 from 12:00 to 3:00 pm. The event takes place at Turks Seafood Market and Sushi Bar, Route 6 in Mattapoisett. Tickets for this over-21 event are $30 per person, $50 per couple. Tickets are limited; please email Jill at orrFORM02739.org to order your tickets now. We look forward to meeting you.

Rochester Receives Grant for COA Health

Thanks to a grant, the Rochester Council on Aging will soon offer people age 55 and up the chance to take a 12-week health and wellness program free of charge.

“The goal of this program is to empower older adults to make and maintain small but impactful changes in health behaviors,” Town Administrator Michael McCue read from a prepared description of the offering during the January 29 meeting of the Rochester Board of Selectmen.

Topics will include physical fitness, communicating with your doctor, fall prevention, use of Medicare prevention benefits, medication management, healthy eating, planning your future, and sleep behavior. Educational materials will be provided at each class.

“This is a wonderful opportunity for older adults to participate in, and reap the benefits of, this cutting-edge wellness program,” the description reads.

Details of the program’s start date will be announced in the near future.

Also during the meeting, selectmen briefly discussed changes the Planning Board and the Bylaw Review Subcommittee propose to make to the Zoning Bylaws table of contents, with mixed emotions.

“Changing the table of contents doesn’t fix the problem,” said Selectman Naida Parker.

McCue stated, “I don’t disagree with that.”

The subcommittee sought quotes from a company to look over the Town’s bylaws and make suggestions on how to make them more cohesive and user-friendly to residents and town officials alike. McCue stressed that the point of employing the company was to make suggestions to the formatting, and not suggest changes to the bylaws themselves.

Town Meeting would have to approve any changes to the bylaws, including the table of contents.

Parker commented on how important it is to rectify the “leap-frogging” that the zoning and regular bylaws appear to do within the bylaw book, going from zoning bylaw to general bylaw and then back to zoning bylaw.

In other matters, McCue announced that new Governor Charlie Baker has released the remaining Chapter 90 funds to the Town of Rochester, totaling $150,000. The funds were already allocated, but former Governor Deval Patrick froze the funds temporarily instead of releasing them to all towns and cities in the state.

The next meeting of the Rochester Board of Selectmen is scheduled for February 9 at 6:30 pm at the Rochester Town Hall.

By Jean Perry

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Girls’ Swim Team Makes History

Many sporting events at Old Rochester Regional High School had to be postponed or canceled this week due to the heavy snowstorm that shut down the area. Regardless, many athletes had impressive performances later in the week. Here is a look at the eighth week of scheduled games for ORR winter athletics.

Boys’ Basketball: In their lone game of the week, the Bulldogs pulled out an impressive 70-42 win over conference rival Fairhaven, thanks largely in part to the performances of Noah Fernandes and Ryan Beatty. Fernandes continued his excellent debut season by scoring 22 points and recording seven assists, while senior Beatty scored 18 points. The Bulldogs got out to an early 25-10 lead after the first quarter and never looked back, staying ahead of the Blue Devils by at least 20 points for the remainder of the game. The win puts the boys’ record at 12-1 overall, with a perfect 12-0 conference record.

Girls’ Basketball: The Lady Bulldogs also had a big win over Fairhaven this week, defeating the Lady Blue Devils 40-18 to advance their record to 8-6 overall. The girls jumped out to a 23-6 lead after the first half and held on for the final two quarters to secure the win. Sophie Church and Olivia Labbe led ORR offensively, recording 11 and 8 points, respectively. Senior captains Ashley Pacheco and Morgan Browning also provided key defense, shutting down any offensive attempts by Fairhaven. This was a redeeming victory for the girls, as they lost to Fairhaven earlier this season by one point.

Boys’ and Girls’ Swimming: This week, the ORR swim teams competed in the SCC Championship Meet, where the girls’ team made history. Though the boys placed fourth overall and the girls placed third out of four teams, junior Cate Feldkamp became the first individual qualifier for the sectional and state meets in the history of the ORR swim program, qualifying in the 200-freestyle. Feldkamp also helped to lead the girls’ 200-freestyle relay, comprised of herself, Chloe Riley, Avery Nugent, and Julianne Mariner, to a sectional and state qualifying time of 1:52. This is the first time in the three-year history of the program that anyone has qualified for states, which is a great example of the progressing strength of ORR swim.

Boys’ Track: This week, ORR’s freshmen and sophomores had a chance to shine at the annual Janiak Freshmen/Sophomore Meet held at GNB Voc-Tech. ORR had three winning performances on the day, with sophomore Mike Morris winning the 300-meter (42 seconds), sophomore Eli Spevack winning the 55-meter hurdles (9.02 seconds), and the 4×400 team of Morris, Spevack, Mason DaSilva, and Will Hopkins taking home the gold in the lone relay in the meet.

Girls’ Track: The girls’ team also had several impressive performances by their underclassmen at the Janiak Freshmen/Sophomore Meet. Leading the way was freshman Carly Demanche, who won the 600-meters in a quick 1:54.9. Demanche was also a leg of the winning 4×400 team, along with Rachel Demmer, Brooke Santos, and Maddie Scheub. On the day, ORR boys and girls won five of the combined twenty races, which is a good indicator of the level of the talent the teams will have in the next few years. Both track teams return to action at the SCC Championship Meet held on February 7 at GNB Voc-Tech.

Below are the overall winter team records, followed by the conference records in wins, losses, and ties as of February 1.

Boys’ Basketball: (12-1-0) (12-0-0); Girls’ Basketball: (8-6-0) (7-5-0); Boys’ Track: (8-1-0) (7-1-0); Girls’ Track: (9-0-0) (8-0-0); Boys’ Swimming: (1-5-0) (0-5-0); Girls’ Swimming: (2-4-0) (1-3-0); Ice Hockey: (7-2-0) (7-0-0).

By Michael Kassabian

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Mattapoisett Woman’s Club

This meeting has been cancelled.

The Mattapoisett Woman’s Club will hold their February meeting on Thursday, February 19 at noon in Reynard Hall at the Mattapoisett Congregational Church, 27 Church Street. Our February program will feature a talk about the roseate tern by Kathy Parsons, Ph.D., Director, Coastal Waterbird Program Mass Audubon.

The Coastal Waterbird Program monitors and protects 180 nesting sites on the Massachusetts coastline including Piping Plovers, Massachusetts Least Terns, and Massachusetts American Oystercatchers. In addition, the program is instrumental in the protection of Roseate Terns during the months after breeding when the birds are preparing for migration. Today, the Coastal Waterbird Program advocates for the protection of the entire coastal ecosystem and serves as a model for integrated coastal resource management.

Please join us at noon for a light lunch and an introduction to interesting facts about our local coastal birdlife.

For more information or directions, please call Barb at 508 864-5213.

Fading Shadows

There was very little conversation about who he was, where he came from, or how and why he ended up living with my grandparents. He, along with every single person who had firsthand knowledge of his backstory, has passed away. Yet, for all of my young life, while he and they were still living, this person – the incomplete John Harris – was like a fleeting shadow.

On those extremely rare occasions when Dad would recount some childhood memory, John Harris was not mentioned. What I’m about to share is a combination of historical crumbs not yet turned to dust as I lose my grip on memory, and the historical fiction I’ve written of him over the years. I suppose the truth would be vastly more interesting, but in its absence the following will have to do.

My paternal grandmother, Annette Wilson, nicknamed Nettie, and her people hailed from New Jersey. It was said her father was a doctor. It was said that she had been educated, could read, write, and do sums. It was said she became a teacher. I know for a fact she played the piano because I saw her do so once six decades ago.

Nettie was married twice. Her first married name was Harris. That marriage had presumably been childless. Upon the death of Mr. Harris, she came into a little property, a small house, and a tiny general store on Route 6A in Barnstable.

But then there is this question. Who was John Harris? If her marriage to Mr. Harris was childless, then where did John Harris come from?

Nettie met and married my grandfather, Nehemiah Newell. She had two sons by him, my father, Brayton, and my uncle, Nehemiah (whose nickname was the rather odd sounding Pungo).

An elder paternal cousin told me a story. She said that when Nettie returned from visiting a friend in Connecticut, she came back with a toddler. That toddler was John. I recall asking her how the toddler had come into her life. I mean, a human being just doesn’t fabricate itself, now does it? The cousin said that a friend of Nettie’s had too many children and the family couldn’t support another. Being childless and, presumably with the financial means to take care of a child, Nettie ‘did her friend a favor’ and had taken the child to raise and care for as if her own flesh and blood. If that story is true, then John was not a relative by birth but a sort of adopted son.

My Father referred to ‘Johnny’ not so much as a half-brother, but as a person in the household who was simply there. He never called him brother as he did his beloved Pungo. Dad would say that Johnny was ‘smart,’ which equated to very high praise from him. Dad’s third-grade education was always a source of shame for him. Though he could read and do sums, he could not write more than his name, and he seemed to believe Johnny of superior intelligence.

In the very thin narrative of my father’s childhood days, this Johnny never factored in. Dad spoke glowingly of his grandmother, a woman I believe to have been his mother’s mother, another educated woman. It was she who taught him how to read. It was she who spent long lamp-lit hours in little more than a hovel heated by a wood burning stove; whose love and kindness he would reflect upon later in life. Not a word of an older brother named John.

Yet it was this person who bore my grandmother’s first married name – Harris.

I know that my father had rather frequent contact with John when they were adults. John became a banker. At what level in the banking world is not known; but suffice it to say, it was a position that my father would leverage.

Dad spent the lion’s share of his life self-employed. His limited education and total inability to accept the confines of reporting to another person made it necessary that he call his own shots. His talents lent themselves to fixing things, and as such, he became well known as the TV-man. But his ability to actually become a solvent businessman was frail at best. There were lean times.

The ebb and flow of his shop meant that, on occasion, money had to be borrowed if it was to be had at all. Before things got too desperate, Dad would take out personal loans from banks or lending institutions using whatever collateral he had cobbled together, oftentimes the house we lived in. A public records search of the homes he owned show numerous loans granted and paid, many from the bank where John Harris was employed.

One can assume that such dealings required Dad and John to speak to one another. One can also assume there was nothing resembling familial sentiments, but rather a business transaction shadowed by some vague shared history.

I never met John. At least I don’t think so. Shortly before the death of my Uncle Pungo, with whom I established a warm long-distance relationship, we discussed many things; but he never, ever mentioned John. Maybe I didn’t ask.

Pungo told me that the best we can ever hope for in terms of immortality is two generations; three, if we are lucky. After that, there is the nothingness. If that’s the case, I hope John has lots of family somewhere. I’m likely to be the only person in my family thinking about him at all in spite of having virtually nothing to share. That thought gets me to wondering … Perhaps when the Harris family thinks about John, they speculate about my family, my father, and my uncle – or maybe not. All shadows fade.

By Marilou Newell

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New Anatomy Teacher Brings Unique Experience

It’s been quite a year in the Old Rochester Regional High School Science Department, where a few retirements have led to new teachers being hired, and new classes being taught by familiar faces.

After longtime Anatomy teacher Mary Cabral retired following the Thanksgiving break, her existing Anatomy classes have been taken over by Colleen Foster, who also teaches Health, and Jeremy Kennefick, a new addition to the ORR staff. So far, Mr. Kennefick is enjoying his time at ORR, and he recently shared his thoughts regarding his new position.

When it came to applying for the vacant teaching position, Mr. Kennefick’s status as a local gave him the edge.

“I live in the Tri-Town, so I’d been keeping my eye on the district for a while,” he explained. “And when the position came up, I applied.”

Mr. Kennefick has a background teaching science at several different schools in the Southcoast area, at many different levels of learning.

“I’ve taught at UMass Dartmouth, New Bedford Public Schools, and Acushnet Public Schools,” he said.

Here at ORRHS, he is mainly teaching Anatomy, although he also teaches a Forensic Science course, a popular science elective among juniors and seniors.

Kennefick had nothing but praise for ORR’s student body. He also noted that the kids here are much different from those at other schools where he has taught.

“The students here are polite and ask lots of good questions. It’s tough to compare to New Bedford,” said Kennefick. “There are plenty of good kids there, but here the kids are more self-sufficient and college-focused.”

He also gave a rundown on a couple of different objectives that he hopes to accomplish during his time at ORR.

“[I hope to contribute] my knowledge in science and my background, become a member of the staff, get to know the students, and also get involved with any extracurricular activities if possible,” he stated.

Bringing his love for science, teaching experience, and local background to the school, Mr. Kennefick is set to make a big impact on ORR’s science students for as long as he teaches at the high school.

By Patrick Briand

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Marion Planning Board

Dear Marion Planning Board:

As a child that has lived in Marion for ten out of my ten years, I know better than anyone how special and astonishing our town really is. CVS is a nationwide, household name, big box store. You know that Marion is not a fit for this. So please don’t let this box in our beautiful, unique town. I believe CVS should not be allowed at the gateway to Marion because there is already too much traffic, their presence will lead to small businesses going bankrupt, and it sets a bad example for American taxpayers. Most residents and visitors do not want it, and because it destroys the beauty of the Captain Hadley House, let’s solve this issue as a community.

Do you want to be backed up trying to get in to the village of Marion? Well, I don’t want to be. There is already too much traffic at the intersection of the Captain Hadley House and Cumberland Farms. Sadly, this corner has the record for the most car crashes in town. CVS is estimating that 500 cars will go in and out of their parking lot daily. Can you guess what this number of cars will make happen? Lets see, there’s going to be even more accidents.

Another reason why I believe CVS should not be in Marion is because their presence will lead to small businesses going out of business. Our town is filled with many local businesses that help us daily. The business that will be affected the most is the Marion General Store. This store sells all of your essentials, toiletries, meat, vegetables, cooking and baking ingredients, snacks, candy, pet needs, medicine and much more. The General Store already competes against the local franchise, Cumberland Farms. If you open another big box store in our town, what you’re basically saying is that I don’t care if one of the most important things in our community is destroyed. This is the center of our town, the younger generation’s meeting spot. Don’t let it crash and burn.

CVS is planning to move their corporation offshore in order to avoid paying U.S. income tax. So this kind of company can sell candy, trinkets, and Gatorade (in addition to prescription drugs) at huge profit levels that justify enormous land leases, put general stores out of business, and we allow them to leave the United States tax rolls. Can you believe that we would let a company that is trying to avoid the U.S. laws in our town? It sets a bad example for youngsters.

The Captain Hadley House is a very important part of Marion’s history. It might just seem like an office building that’s taking up space, but it’s not. As Margie Baldwin stated at our town meeting last October, “We used to have four historic buildings at each corner of our town. But now, sadly, we only have one left. The Captain Hadley House.” Seeing this building every time you come into our town, you are reminded of the beautiful history of Marion.

Finally, the CVS company should not be in our unique village because many people have already said NO to having this pharmacy come to our town. A petition done by Tinker and Bill Saltonstall shows that 2,191 residents and visitors to Marion voted NO towards CVS. I personally did a poll through my 5th grade class at Sippican Elementary and the majority of the children stated clearly that they don’t want a big box store in the town they are growing up in. Isn’t your job to do the right thing for the whole entire community? Listen to the children; we are the people that will be here in the long run.

To save this town from turning into a city, we need to stop CVS. This box store should not be allowed at their gateway to Marion or anywhere in Marion. As a ten year old, I have learned to respect the process of the planning board as I watched you deal with Mark Investments at both meetings. There is already too much traffic. I’m not lying, traffic records prove it. Local businesses will go bankrupt. Many residents and visitors to our little community say NO to CVS. Petitions through all age groups speak loud and clear. This destroys the beauty of the Captain Hadley House. As I said in the beginning, I am a child that has lived here for a decade … my whole entire life. I’ve ridden my bike to Jack Cheney’s General Store. I’ve been driven by the Captain Hadley House, I’ve enjoyed getting greeted by the man who owns the General Store every day, and I know that the owner of the whole entire CVS company does not stand outside and greet us when we come in. I’ve enjoyed driving by the historic building. I’ve personally loved going past the Captain Hadley House, but never really enjoyed going into the CVS in Fairhaven or Wareham. I don’t want anymore car crashes. So let’s make a stop to this riot and keep intact the beauty of our town.

Thank you,

Tasha Sudofsky

 

The views expressed in the “Letters to the Editor” column are not necessarily those of The Wanderer, its staff or advertisers. The Wanderer will gladly accept any and all correspondence relating to timely and pertinent issues in the great Marion, Mattapoisett and Rochester area, provided they include the author’s name, address and phone number for verification. We cannot publish anonymous, unsigned or unconfirmed submissions. The Wanderer reserves the right to edit, condense and otherwise alter submissions for purposes of clarity and/or spacing considerations. The Wanderer may choose to not run letters that thank businesses, and The Wanderer has the right to edit letters to omit business names. The Wanderer also reserves the right to deny publication of any submitted correspondence.

Rochester and Mattapoisett Girls’ Softball

Rochester and Mattapoisett will be holding softball registrations on Wednesday, February 11. Mattapoisett will hold registration at Old Hammondtown School and Rochester at Rochester Memorial School from 6:00 – 8:00 pm.