By the time you read this, Thank-mas and Thanksgivukka, previously known as Thanksgiving (and this year Hanukkah), will be history. Now we can move forward to Spend-mas, I mean Christmas. Holy paycheck, there aren’t enough shopping days left!

But wait, it doesn’t have to be that way at all. Can’t we collectively scream at the retailers “NO”, can’t we take back our humanity? Can’t we refuse to get caught up in the discounting of merchandise planned by global corporations to help you go broke while saving 50% off the suggested retail price? I ask you with boughs of holly in my hand, can we STOP THE MADNESS?!

Yes, we can. Zip up your wallet and let’s take the road best traveled. As we struggle to make everyone in our family happy, just keep this at the top of your Christmas to-do list: Giving people happy memories is the greatest gift ever. It is the gift that keeps on giving for as long as they can remember, and it doesn’t have to cost a thing.

            Here are some ideas that might help make your holiday less stressful and less expensive, yet worth silver and gold:

            1. K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simply Splendid. Plan on making this time of the year splendid with simple things. Remember those spice balls you made in first grade? Remember paper chains? Remember going on rides after dark to see Christmas decorations shining against the cold black night? Do those things again. You may have to put a little gas in the car, but I call that an investment in glad tidings. While you’re in the car, refer to suggestion #4 to enhance the experience. Being tuneful is optional.

            2. SHARE STORIES: “…time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the future…” Those profound words from The Steve Miller Band’s 1977 hit “Fly Like an Eagle” set the stage for this – you have to talk to your old folks now. The narratives that older people have in the corners of their minds are rich in family history. Why not have the kids, those who can write, collect the stories from the older folks, perhaps by making a game of it. My father was a bronze star recipient. The when, where, how and why are all lost to us now. It was never discussed, never even known until after his death. Maybe if we had asked him some questions about his WWII experiences, this would have been revealed to us. Don’t let your elders slip away before you really know their stories. They are your stories too.

3. COOK TOGETHER (and then) WALK TOGETHER: Let the kids make a mess, let your spouse or partner make a mess, let yourself make a mess and enjoy the process. Share recipes. Then before the sun goes down, bundle up and take a walk. There’s nothing like a walk on a brisk late afternoon to get the blood moving and prepare the body for another round of pie and eggnog (especially if the nog is spiked).

4. SING THE OLE TYME CAROLS: “Make a joyful noise…” In my case, it just might be noise to those who have to suffer through my rendition of ‘O Holy Night’. Maybe you could find holiday songs from other countries and try those for fun. In our home, we have a piano that was a gift to my son decades ago. When the grand kids were little, they loved to have him play carols and we’d all gather round and sing. It was a multi-generational occasion with my Father and Mother sitting nearby enjoying the little ones and, in spite of them both being hard of hearing, trying to sing along. With that said, my clan has to put up with my seriously out-of-key warbling – it’s part of the fun. Now bring me a figgy pudding!

5. READ A STORY ALOUD: Here’s a thought: If you and your family do what was suggested in #2, those stories could be read aloud in subsequent years. And how about this? Gather the children in a circle surrounded by the grown-ups and then have each adult take a turn voicing one of the characters in a storybook. I guarantee that everyone will have a blast. The thespians in your tribe are just waiting. However, you might want to do this activity before too many adult beverages have been consumed. I’m just saying.

6. CHRISTMAS IS A SEASON NOT A DAY: Ours is a blended family. Early in our marriage, we made some rookie blended-family mistakes. The take way from those missteps was to consider the holidays not as single days but as an entire season. Spread over many weeks from Thanksgiving to New Year’s and depending on how big your family may be, this gives plenty of opportunity to be with your loved ones without the pressure of trying to compete for time. Children, whether young or adult, can be especially squeezed in blended families. Their mothers and fathers may not have worked out the kinks in sharing their children with one another and end up pressuring the kids to be with them versus the former spouse. Unfortunately it happens. By making sure your party isn’t on the same day as a former spouse, the conflict is averted and the kids can relax and enjoy being with you. If your in-laws have expectations that make your holiday a round-robin of putting the babies in and out of car seats, maybe you need to suggest to them that being in two homes on Christmas morning isn’t a merry time for you. Crying, overtired kids, you know what I mean. Spread the season out, make it last longer, give yourself and your immediate family members a season of happy memories minus the mad dash from one home to the other.

I asked around to find out what people really end up remembering about Christmases past. Here are a few of those responses.

Shelley: My fondest memory of Christmas ever was laying out the homemade milk and cookies for Santa. One year in particular was very special because when I came downstairs at my grandparents’ house, the milk and cookies were gone and to my surprise two huge boot prints and ashes were spilling out of the fireplace! I still don’t know whether it was my Grampa trying to play a joke on me or really Santa! It is such a wonderful memory of my gramps who has since passed away. They always made the holidays so very special for me.

Anne: I was maybe 7 when Donny, 4, and Linda, 3, woke me up on Christmas Eve. Mom and Dad were in bed. Our house had a landing, so we crept down the three steps to the landing and down maybe two more to take a peek. It was magic. The streetlight lit up the living room and what we could see was the Christmas tree with mounds of Christmas gifts around it, but then the bombing voice of my Father “Get back to bed!” This memory is something I still can see vividly in my mind and remember how excited I was when I went back to bed. Nothing like it!

Joe: Joyful anticipation and escalating excitement set the stage for the wide range of emotions experienced and which culminated with the celebration of Christmas. A dedicated ‘Santa Hunter’ determined to catch jolly old Saint Nick in the act is my earliest memory of this enchanting time of year…..transitioning into adulthood…I discovered the real magic was a loving family. Christmas get-togethers were something special and revolved around the kitchen featuring meals steeped in tradition and family custom. A child’s preoccupation with receiving presents evolved to a spirit of giving and an appreciation of familial values. The feasts prepared on Christmas Eve and Day have continued for the past 64 years. Though the assortment of various seafood on the Eve has changed somewhat, the joy of the occasion continues to increase. The one constant spanning my many years is the joyful anticipation and escalating excitement heralding the Christmas season – with my family gathered around.

Paul: We went to bed at the insistence of our Mother, and the adults would go to midnight mass. When they came back, a meal would be laid out and we’d be awakened to open our gifts. We’d go back to bed afterwards only to get up again later that same day. We’d go to our Grandmother’s house (Father’s family) and later that night, we’d go to my other Grandmother’s house (Mother’s family) each presenting us with a huge meal and small gifts. In a 24-hour span of time we’d sleep, eat, open gifts, and have our faces slathered with kisses by adoring aunts. My Father’s family was a very low-key group, but my Mother’s clan would be ruckus with the booze flowing. They were an entertaining bunch.

            ML: In the past when the grands were little grands, I’d get them all together for a weekend of cookie and card making. These were taken back home to their parents. The little girls glowed with pride regardless of how lopsided the cookies were, or how much wet paste remained on the edge of construction paper cards. Those get-togethers are some of their fondest holiday memories and mine.

            Joan: My favorite things about Christmas were our traditions, we had a lot. On Christmas Eve we’d go to church, back home afterwards we all had a glass of eggnog and were allowed to open one present. Mom used to choose which gift it would be – it was always PJs. When Dad got sick and quit working, he’d cut all the coupons he could and give us all a “coupon present” that he bought at the A&P. These gifts were very special because we knew he picked them out himself and even hand wrapped them. The present would always be one of our favorite foods such as a big bag of M&M’s for me, special cookies, or other treats. I remember one of the little boys getting a big box of Ring Dings.

            Linda: I always looked forward to the stocking stuffers and the surprises contained therein. Even more important were these little offerings than the bigger ticket items sitting under the tree. Perhaps–I think–it was a sign of “you’ve been a good daughter” blessing from my parents. My father was responsible for the purchase of the contents at the local drug store. The suspense of coal versus goodies, including the Christmas roast, family and fixings, trumped everything.

            Hannah: My favorite times as a child growing up were the holidays…. my childhood was not the best….a lot of stuff I shouldn’t have seen or had to deal with. So the holidays were such a huge reminder that I was still a child though my life may not always have reflected on that. I used to love getting to spend my Christmas Eves at my Grandfather’s house, listening to classic Christmas music, gathering around the piano to play and sing together, even adding in my flute sometimes…music reflects a lot on how our Christmases used to be. I used to always watch the sky going back home and thinking I saw Santa or something else magical, then to wake up and do it all over again with my Grandmother. I used to think that made me special, I got two Christmases, spending each time differently with two sides of my family. Fires in the fireplace and watching Christmas movies, cooking with my grandmother and singing and playing music, those are definitely the best memories of my childhood.

            Whatever your celebrations are, no matter what your cultural traditions or religious affiliations may be, my wish for you is good health and many years of Happy Holler Daze memories!

By Marilou Newell

There is no shortage of things to do in the next few weeks leading up to December 25. Whether you’re interested in family activities, opportunities to give back to our servicemen and women, or enjoying classical musical performances, the Tri-Town region has something for everyone.

Rochester has its annual Tree Lighting Ceremony and Santa’s arrival on Monday December 9 at 6:30 pm at the Town Hall. Music will be provided by Rochester Memorial School students, followed by refreshments in Town Hall.

Joseph H. Plumb Memorial Library in Rochester will host two holiday themed events: a silent auction and open house on Saturday, December 7, between 10:00 am and 3:00 pm; and, on December 14 starting at 11:00 am, there will be a marathon reading of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Refreshments will be served.

ORRHS Drama Club’s presentation of A Christmas Carol runs from December 5 – 7 at 7:30 pm with a final show on December 8 at 2:00 pm. This annual event is a tour de force not to be missed, bringing together the acting and musical talents of numerous students and volunteers working behind the curtain preparing period costumes and props with a story as timeless as Christmas itself.

If you are looking for something a bit more sublime, The Cantata Choir of the First Congregational Church in Marion will present ‘The Heart of Christmas’ by Pepper Choplin on Sunday December 15 with two seatings – the first at 9:30 am and the second at 11:30 am. This remarkable concert, under the direction of Choir Director Cassandra Morgan, has 63 singers and is accompanied by a professional 18-piece orchestra. This is a free concert; however, tickets are required due to limited seating. You can get your tickets while they last at The Bookstall and the General Store in Marion.

For the nineteenth year, Marion will host The Village Stroll between 3:00 and 6:00 pm on December 15. Santa will arrive via boat. Food and beverages will be available at various venues along the strolling path which steps off at Handy’s Tavern located at 152 Front Street. This is a perennial favorite for the young at heart as well as youngsters of all ages.

Sippican Woman’s Club will host its Annual House Tour on Saturday December 14 from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm showcasing five homes professionally decorated for the season. Local businesses have partnered in making this a tour to remember. Joining with the homeowners will be Eden Landscapes, Bunny’s Bouquets, Always in Bloom, Serendipity by the Sea, and members of the SWC. A tea will be served between 2:00 and 4:00 pm at St. Gabriel’s Parish Hall as well.

A Gingerbread House Gala and Silent Auction sponsored by Habitat for Humanity is being held at the Marion Music Hall on December 5 from 6:00 to 8:30 pm. Bakers of all ages and ability will submit gingerbread houses to be sold along with other goods in their silent auction. A $50.00 donation is requested. Choirs will sing Christmas carols, and refreshments will be offered by Harriet’s, Lindsey’s and Artisan Kitchen.

For the third year, the Sippican Lands Trust, in coordination with business neighbors, will have a Christmas Stroll on Friday December 6 from 3:00 to 5:00 pm at the Pilgrim Landing Plaza on Front Street. This is a free event that includes face painting, gingerbread decorating, ornament decorating, treats, and a visit from Santa.

The Sippican Choral Society will perform ‘A Ceremony of Carols’ by Benjamin Britten on Friday, December 6, at 8:00 pm at the Grace Episcopal Church, County Street, New Bedford and on December 8 at 4:00 pm at the Wickenden Chapel, Spring Street, Marion. Tickets are $12.00 and are available at The Bookstall in Marion and Symphony Music Shop, 94 State Road, in Dartmouth.

Marion Art Center will be open for holiday shopping Tuesdays through Fridays from 1:00 – 5:00 pm and on Saturdays from 10:00 am – 2:00 pm. On December 14, Timothy Wade, local sand and ice sculptor and painter will demonstrate ice carving at 10:00 am outside on the patio, while inside wood carver Mike McCarthy will demonstrate bird-carving.

St. Anthony’s and St. Rita’s are jointly holding a ‘Harborside Christmas Fair’ on December 7 at St. Anthony’s church in Mattapoisett from 9:00 am- 2:00 pm. Great gifts and baked goods will be some of the items available for purchase during this glittering event.

‘Holiday in the Park’ at Mattapoisett’s Shipyard Park takes place on December 14 at 4:00 pm with Santa’s arrival, food and beverage tent, craft activities and face painting for the little ones. There is also a tree lighting and carol sing-along. Concurrent with this event, Mattapoisett’s Lions Club will collect toys and food. Bring a new unwrapped toy or canned foods for distribution to local families in need.

ORR High School presents its ‘Holiday Concert’ on December 12 at 7:00 pm with performances by the band and chorus. The following week, on December 19 at 7:00 pm, the Junior High School will bring their holiday concert to the public with performances from their band and chorus.

Mattapoisett Historical Society’s Museum opens its doors for the holiday with a variety of events. On December 7 from 9:00 am to noon, you can view a Toy Train Exhibit, and holiday shoppers can purchase unique gift items. Drop-in with your kids throughout the day on December 14 and enjoy making an ornament or stop by on December 21 when classic Christmas cartoons will be shown. Hot chocolate will be served.

Looking to help the troops? Join Veterans Services from Mattapoisett and Rochester, in conjunction with Cape Cod Cares for Our Troops, who will be organizing Christmas Care Packages for troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. Your donations may be dropped off at Mattapoisett Town Hall by Friday, December 6. Items especially needed are travel-sized personal hygiene items and non-perishable foods of all types. Other useful items include gloves, hats, paper, pens, t-shirts and much more. Contact the veteran’s office at 508-758-4100 ext. 212 for complete details.

By Marilou Newell

They say that for every door that closes another one opens. For people who retire, finding those doors can be difficult, especially for those whose lives have been one of service. For Officer Suzan, now Mr. Mitch Suzan, finding those doors won’t be difficult, but the public will need to adjust. He told me that when you are a police officer in a small town, “You are never off duty.”

When I met with him, literally minutes before the end of his last shift, he said, “Now when someone asks me ‘What happened?’ I can say, ‘I don’t know’”. Although he is leaving active police duty, he is not leaving the community he has come to love and which has come to love and appreciate him.

Suzan spent three years as a military police officer and 27 years as a police officer in Mattapoisett. He was quick to add that he has been married for 35 years to his wife Debbie, has three children, two of whom are married and one still in college. He is the very proud grandfather of two little grand daughters and calls himself the biggest kid his wife has to deal with. A real family man.

During his impressive career, Suzan shared that working with the kids in the schools is a highlight for him. He plans on making himself available to the school in some capacity in the future. And, here’s a little known fact about Suzan – he surfs. Who knew!

As a Navy brat, Suzan moved every year or two throughout his childhood and spent enough time in San Diego to catch the surfing bug. To this day, he surfs the northeast coastline from the National Seashore in Massachusetts to Narragansett Bay in Rhode Island. He said, “I’d like to start a surfing class for local kids.” He said that one of his passions would be teaching kids water safety skills and how to surf.

Who wouldn’t want to be out in the fresh air and sunshine after 30 years of dealing with all that a police officer has to deal with in the course of a shift. “Mattapoisett is a small town, but small towns still have big city problems,” he said. In his career, he has seen the darker, sadder side of humanity from car accidents, to suicides, to drug overdoses – life for a police officer is one peppered with these harsh realities. But there were those lighter moments as well. He said that his first traffic stop was rather comic, “I asked for the driver’s license and registration. I got that plus a ‘get out of jail card’ from the Monopoly game!”

Suzan came to his love of Mattapoisett through his father, Frank, a former selectman and resident of the town. Although Mitch didn’t grow up here, he wanted his children to enjoy the small town childhood he didn’t have as a military dependent. Suzan said, “I didn’t have any long-term friendships.” Moving every year or so meant he didn’t get to establish those types of relationships, ones he wanted his own children to have. Today he lives in a house that has been in his family for three generations – right here in Mattapoisett.

What’s the biggest thing Suzan is looking forward to – “Having weekends off with my family.” He hasn’t had a full weekend off since 1984. Now he’ll get to enjoy all the weekends in his future, and maybe hang ten to boot.

By Marilou Newell