Punxsutawney Phil. You really let us down this time.
I’m crying foul. You’ve heard of DeflateGate. I call this GroundhogGate.
Clearly, Phil, you have sold out on us. How else could you explain seeing your shadow on a snowy day beneath overcast skies? I think it’s time we started looking toward other eligible groundhogs for the satisfaction that seems to elude us with you.
I’m looking toward Staten Island Chuck, bearer of better news this year, predicting an early spring from the Staten Island Zoo. And Chuck has been accurate with his predictions for the past five years straight. How often have you been right, Phil?
And then there’s Buckeye Chuck in Marion, Ohio. He plays by the rules. No shadow, no six weeks more of winter.
Jimmy the Groundhog from Sun Prairie, Wisconsin emerged as one of my personal favorites this year, defying his handlers’ suggestion that there would be six more weeks of winter. Instead, he whispered into Mayor Jonathan Freund’s ear that spring would come early just before biting him. The mayor’s office issued a statement that only the mayor can translate Jimmy’s prediction, so the prediction stands. Jimmy said spring is on its way.
General Beauregard Lee in Lilburn, Atlanta is looking pretty good to me, too, right now. Can you say, “hash tag: early spring?”
We just endured two back-to-back winter storms here in Tri-Town. There was barely enough time in between storms to enjoy a little sledding and snowpeople making. The Groundhog Day storm that canceled school in the Old Rochester Regional School District, although it not bring as much snow as predicted, managed to make a mess before it all flash froze Monday evening.
Don’t get us wrong, Phil, we love us a little winter. But the prospect of an early spring is what gets us through the second half of it. It is what we dream about as we hurl the last shovelfuls of the three tons of heavy snow from our driveways, after the novelty of the first five minutes of the activity has worn off.
We look to you to deliver us from the icy clutches of winter’s relentless grasp. Unclinch your fists, winter. Phil – you are outnumbered. No #SixMoreWeeksofWinter. We prefer to go with #EarlySpring.
By Jean Perry
